…in case you were wondering.

"Daddy, you’re a bitch."
September 1, 2006, 4:12 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

“Daddy, you’re a bitch.”
These are the words that came flying out of my four year olds mouth this morning. It was directly in the middle of wrestling around on the floor of his bedroom. I stopped to clarify that I actually heard what was just said to me.

“Excuse me? What did you just say?!”

“Ummm, you’re a bitch.”

This time more pronounced, but coupled with a confused look as to why the wrestling had stopped and why may face was now “serious”. By this time my wife has entered the room, overhearing the conversation from across the hall. She looks at me and asks,
“Did I just hear what I think I heard?”.

“I think so. Tell mommy what you just called me and then never say that word again.”

“I…umm… said.. ahh… daddy is a bitch?”

After a long explanation as to why you are not allowed to call people that, came the interrogation.

“Where did you learn this word?”

“From myself, I didn’t learn it from anyone.”

“Where have you heard that word? You have to have heard it from somewhere.”

“I learned it myself, for real.”

One more try. “Okay, you won’t get in trouble if you tell us where you heard that word.”

“My friend Phillip said it.”

“Are you sure? I don’t think Phillip wouldn’t say something like that. When did he say that word?”

“When he was sitting on it in the yard.”

Confused, I look to my wife for some sort of translation. She asks what we were doing when he said that. I told here were were wrestling on the floor.

“Was he sitting on you?”


“He said you were a bench.”

My confused little boy is now watching his parents decide whether or not “bench” is a word you should never, ever call people, and wondering if he is still in trouble.

“Oh, that’s not a bad word, but let’s work on annunciation before you call anyone that.”

Now I’m heading to the Library to see if I can pick up a copy of a Four-Year-Old to English Translation Dictionary.


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I know Phillip well and I am pretty sure he said ‘bitch’. He learned it from his mother.

Comment by ikon

thats’ funny … real funny. i shared this with my office … they all laughed.

Comment by Jeff & Katie Boian

Isn’t he wonderful?
Very funny, Bro. I had the whole church office read it, also.
Love, Mom

Comment by Anonymous

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