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So… let’s pretend there is this guy. We’ll call him “Barney”. Let’s pretend “Barney” is supposed to leave for a hypothetical cruise to say… Jamaica. Let’s also pretend that “Barney” needs to leave for this hypothetical cruise in… let’s say… four days.
Still with me?
Okay. Let’s also pretend that “Barney” turned in his Passport application back in the first week of February, but has yet to hear anything back. “Barney” has called the Passport Agency several times and found out that his hypothetical Passport is in the process of being…. well… processed… in New Orleans. “Barney” has requested three times that the “process” be expedited to make it possible for him to attend his hypothetical cruise, but for some reason the three requests haven’t been responded to.
Let’s take it just one step further.
Let’s also pretend that “Barney” is supposed to be working on this hypothetical cruise… working for someone else… that has to go on the cruise. Let’s say he is in charge of…we’ll call it, some sort of “performance” and “Barney” is the only one who knows all the details about the trip and schedule.
If you were “Barney”, what would you do in this situation that “Barney” seems to have found himself in?
Hypothetically of course.
11 Comments so far
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...in case you were wondering. 
“Barney” should talk to his brother in law about passport trouble. Let’s call him “Howard”.. He might know a trick or two.
Comment by egweedge April 24, 2007 @ 2:22 pmHypothetically speaking…
You have to have a passport to go on a cruise?
I went on a cruise…but I don’t remember needing a passport.
Comment by Steven M. Russell April 24, 2007 @ 2:32 pmPanic?
Comment by That Chick Over There April 24, 2007 @ 2:50 pmTell “Barney” not to worry. Right now, the law states that a passport is recommended, NOT required. Tell “Barney” and his lovely wife “Betty” to make sure they bring a certified copy of their birth certificates along with a photo ID. “Barney” and “Betty” will be fine. Don’t forget to bring the same information for “BamBam.” He needs to be all “legal-like” too.
Beth
Comment by Anonymous April 24, 2007 @ 3:19 pm… So here’s a fun little update for.. ummm “Barney”.
“Barney” found out that he, in fact doesn’t need his passport to go on this cruise. All he needs is his photo ID and his birth certificate. Sounds great right?
Wrong.
“Barney’s” birth certificate is with his “passport”… in New Orleans, because Barney needed to send that in to get said passport.
Not tricky enough for you? Let’s try this.
“Barney”, also legally changed his name in 1999 from what is actually on his birth certificate to something else… and “Barney” needs copies of those records also. Yeah… those records are also with the “passport” in New Orleans.
Sucks to be “Barney”
Comment by Brody Harper April 24, 2007 @ 3:43 pmTell “Barney” that a few calls placed to the proper offices, with just the correct level of desperation in his voice, can get him next day certified copies of these records.
I know it can be done because my procrastinating brother has been there. A few years ago we all went on a family cruise and somehow he didn’t get the message that he needed a birth certificate for his son until the day before we were to board the ship (2000 miles from home, no less). They were able to get it done.
I’m confident that “Barney”, too, will sail the seas and have ample opportunity to hide from our friend, Mr. Sun, in the coming week.
Comment by euphrony April 24, 2007 @ 5:54 pmBribery is always an option…it would be especially helpful if “Barney” had any close connections with soft rock stars…but I don’t imagine “Barney” would know anyone like that…
Comment by Kat April 24, 2007 @ 11:51 pmOf course you realize that this is now going to spin off into “what did “Barney” change his name from/to in 1999 and why.” Get the full story here, or is “Barney” going to keep us guessing?
Beth
Comment by Beth April 25, 2007 @ 2:16 amdude. same thing happened to me. i sent all of the paperwork and whatnot in for my passport right around the same exact time. my wife got hers a couple of days ago. i still didn’t have mine. what gives, i thought. then i got it today. it was a happy ending and i’m sure it will be for you too. the fake name thing was cool for a while, but unless you changed your name from barney to brody, let’s just call a spade a spade, kapish?
Comment by the boian chronicles ... April 25, 2007 @ 6:52 amtick-tock-tick-tock
Comment by Brody Harper April 26, 2007 @ 2:45 amBrody,
Have you tried calling again? Did they offer you any alternative at all if it doesn’t arrive in time? I paid the extra to have my passport renewed with “expedited” service. That extra $60 got me the passport in 5 weeks when the site and the paperwork said it would take 3 business days from receipt! So much for expedited service! We mailed Alex’s the same day and he doesn’t have it back yet. They were mailed March 12th. Thankfully he doesn’t travel until early July.
Beth
Comment by Beth April 26, 2007 @ 3:51 am