…in case you were wondering.

The Superhero And The Musician
September 7, 2007, 9:07 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

superhero.jpgHaving kids has made Kristin and I realize that maybe this superhero thing isn’t such a good thing to be letting our boys discover. We have a five year old that desperately wants to be Spiderman. Here’s the problem. Superhero’s are created by something tragic. Now I have a five year old that thinks he simply needs to be bitten by a scary looking spider, and POOF, he will be able to climb walls and stuff. Because of that he is always out in the yard looking for the ugliest looking, deadly spider and then trying to get bit by it.

That got me started thinking about Superhero’s in general, and how it seems that they are usually the nerdy, weak, awkward around women guys that somehow overcome and become this secretly awesome, butt kicking, cool guy. It’s sort of that way with musicians I think. I don’t want to call them “ailments” or “deformities” but rather “physically inclined to be a musician”. You think I am wrong? Let’s take a look at a few.

Let’s start with the guys out there that are miniature. Guys like Jon and Tim Foreman from Switchfoot, Derek Webb, Ben Folds, Elton John, Paul Simon and Charlie Hall. These are all guys that couldn’t have a possibly normal job. They can’t lift anything. They can barely even look people in the eyes without jumping.

Shaun and I call people like this “switchfoot size”. It’s sort of like a snack size person. Most likely they are good at music because they got made fun of in gym class. Fair enough. I can see that.

Then you’ve got guys like Crowder, Mick Jagger, Lyle Lovett and Shaun. Guys that look more like a graffiti cartoon character rather than an actual person. They are usually noticeably tall and thin, freakishly long thin fingers that wrap weird ways around a guitar neck, and knees that appear to bend slightly the wrong way. Guys like this are less common in music than the “switchfoot size” guys, more like the “rich guy with too much time on his hands” superhero. Still unable to lead a normal life, or work a normal job, or lift anything above their head, but not bit by the tiny spider, or zapped by radio activity.

Other musician superheros?


16 Comments so far
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Features can be very misleading. Crowder is actually one of the strongest guys i know. He doesn’t work out but is freakishly strong. There are also many inward features. Most musicians are withdrawn. They could never balance there check book or even find the nearest coffee shop. Without them though, life would be so lame. We have Brody to make sure they make there interviews on time. As for the iPhone……just kidding. Seriously I crack myself up sometime.

Comment by hickman

Im not sure if you’ve ever noticed but your legs seem to almost bend backward when you stand. (viewing from the side)

I dont know to much about musicians but the first thing that comes to mind is, touching their Hair. it kinda makes me think of a guy who’s petting himself. Although in the case of guys like Shaun it might be a reaction to something.

(not sure if this really applies to shaun, but I know you dont pet yourself. Although, you might brody if you were a famous musician.)

Comment by randy

I forgot half of this sentence;

Although in the other case of guys, like Shaun, it might be a reaction to something. Petting your Hair doesnt make it go up.

Comment by randy

More musician oddities… that white stripes guy, he’s a strange looking one, Tori Amos, she’s a little odd. Now that I think of it, most women musicians that are very popular have to have the opposite thing going for them, it seems like they’ve got to be extremely good looking etc, to make it. If they are odd, like Tori Amos, or Fiona Apple, they aren’t as popular.

Comment by Kddub

Ok, what about the opposite in general? They make it on the pop scene. They are overly good-looking, popular, could get all the women anyway (if they like women). This group includes Nsync, backstreet boys, Kutless, Hawk Nelson…You know cookie cutters, the abacrombie and fitch or the music world, who in fact sell more albums than many mentioned in you post.

Comment by Shawn Bashor

what about your average height & slightly overweight guys??? like myself…haha…i guess i could always get a job as a truck driver if the band thing ever ends. or maybe a bus driver for the vertically challenged rockstars. that’s what i cand do.

Comment by BUSH

Shawn. The title of this post has the word “musician” in it. Wanna rethink the groups you mentioned?

Comment by brodyharper

My brother is in a band called Cirque de Sound (coming soon to an iPhone near you…*wink). Their style of music (and I do not use the word lightly) is about as hard to describe as how obnoxiously overidolized the Beatles are (yes…I did just say that), so I will not try. I will say, however, that their stage presence and confidence far exceeds that which their age would suggest. Costumed by strings, sticks, mics, pedals, and a nifty hat, random shirt, or artsy cd cover, they seem to possess a level of unattainable “cool.” Spend more then a second looking beyond the “image” you allow them to embody and you will find the biggest goober dorks in all of creation. In my experience, I find that musicians in general are quite the same. Crazy, dorky, funny, quirky, average Joes. Gotta love ’em.

Comment by livngfragrance

My bad you are right, I rethought it, you did say musician not sountracks didn’t you. That brings up a good point, would they be like the arch-enemy of the “super heros?”

Comment by Shawn Bashor

More like the evil impostors. Arch-enemies would be arthritis or amputation. This is just my opinion.

Comment by livngfragrance

I guess you to are kind of right. I think the im postors thing is correct, but amputation or arthritis would be more like kryptonite than a true arch enemy. I guess a real arch enemy (remember they never really go away) would be the record company.

Comment by Shawn (with a W) Bashor

Let me explain that a little better (I had a patient sitting in front of me and felt a little rushed).

If there is no villan (purely in a comic book type way not in a God type way here folks) the is no super hero. They are kind of the necessary evil to promote the said hero to, well, hero statis.

So the above mentioned groups, while not being the arch enemy as this would give them too much street cred are imposters, they are kind of like the little brother that immitates. Or lips syncs, or sound tracks, however you want to say it.

Comment by Shawn (with a W) Bashor

What about the “plus size” guys? With the really good voices?

Comment by RyanG

you forgot Tomlin, Phil Collins, and Phil Wickham. some of those Kutless guys are little bitty too.

and there are the actor Super Heros: Cruise, Hoffman, Redford, DeNiro, Michael J. Fox

Comment by nancy

love this blog. I laugh every time I read this entry

Comment by Jeanna

[…] not sure why I am on a superhero kick lately, but make your own here. 1 Comment so far Leave a […]

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